Speaking in Tongues to Preserve My Sanity
Note: For some of you, speaking in tongues is something you have not encountered or practiced before. For others of you it’s a familiar practice. Finally, some of you may have had confusing, alarming, or negative experiences with this gift.
For some background and teaching on spiritual gifts, I point you to a group of sermons within our series on 1 Corinthians in which I give an introduction to spiritual gifts, explain their design, their purpose, and then finally how tongues and prophecy fit into pursuing that calling. As you read this blog, however, please do know that the spiritual gift I’m highlighting here is not for every believer, but that desiring it and asking for it is a good thing! - Mike
My relationship with the gift of tongues has had a varied history. While never having been a part of a spiritual community that openly encouraged or practiced the gift, my first experience with this gift was when I found myself nonetheless praying fervently in an incomprehensible manner in high school during a revival meeting. I was deeply burdened in my heart for the other students in my high school ministry, and as I mournfully poured out my soul there was suddenly a transition in the words that my mouth uttered.
I continued this practice on occasion during my personal devotionals, but without much understanding or guidance as to whether this was helpful or not.
Fast forward two decades later. I was by myself at a mountain prayer retreat in Korea during my first ever ministry sabbatical. I entered the sabbatical desiring for God to restore me in ways I had not felt in a long, long time. I was hoping he would speak. Instead, I meandered from spot to spot at the prayer retreat, mostly being annoyed that where I was trying to sit had too many bugs flying around to pray undistracted.
I finally found a shaded spot overlooking the mountain (one without bugs) and finally attempted to pray. After a few underwhelming minutes, I stopped. I just didn’t seem to be able to connect with God in an engaging way. I wondered if I should just leave and go home, but I also knew this would probably be the last sustained amount of time I’d be alone during this trip. I decided to just sit and enjoy the scenery a while longer.
Then I heard it. A man, a stone’s throw away, praying by uttering phrases I knew were neither Korean nor English.
“Ah right,” I thought. I had forgotten. I could always try that.
I began to pray in tongues, though without fervency or energy. It was all I could do. A few minutes wouldn’t hurt. Then I kept going. And going. For the next 45 minutes or my prayer continued, and while I couldn’t tell you exactly what I was saying, I knew what was happening in my heart. I was laying the last two decades down before God. The struggles, the defining events of my life, where I’d been, what had happened… I was conversing with him about it. It’s hard to know exactly how the conversation went, but I knew it was happening.
"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”
God enabled me to lay myself down before Him in a way I was unable to do on my own. I finally stopped praying and marveled at what had happened. It wasn’t a dramatic moment, or an earth-shattering personal revival. But something was different.
As I went down the mountain, I heard God say something to the effect of “Don’t forget about this. It is a gift I’ve given you to do battle.”
I can confirm that this is precisely how God has used this spiritual gift in my life since then. Several days before I returned from sabbatical I was hit with derailing anxiety; it seemed unusual and without any reason and so I recognized it as spiritual attack. I began to pray in the Spirit, asking for relief and protection. While things did not feel peaceful, God was able to sustain me so that I had the strength to not be completely derailed by this incident.
Similarly, when our current season of social distancing began, I suddenly began to experience a deep downward spiral of relational anxiety and despair. I felt this way despite plenty of encouraging words about the ministry we were doing and the part I was playing in it. Some of the elders pointed out this dissonance, and I once again realized it was an attack.
Our dog Hugo started to get longer walks, and I prayed while listening to scripture using the Dwell app. This has remained a regular ritual throughout the week, and has been one of the sustaining factors in how I am able to fight the fight against despair and anxiety.
Now, I share this to show how God has aided me in my particular situation in this season. How can this apply to you? Let me share a few thoughts I have:
Seek God in prayer and scripture during this season of isolation.
No matter how you pray, one thing that is important is that you do pray and fight to create habits by which you will always pray and spend some time immersed in scripture.
One of the wonderful things we experienced together as a church this past year was Donald Whitney’s teaching on praying the Bible. Simply exposing yourself to scripture, and praying about what comes to mind as you read it (related or not) is an immensely helpful and important thing that can allow God to minister to you.
2. Recognize how the enemy seeks to amplify your current moods, feelings, and temptations…and pray for protection in those moments.
We must learn to discern between the various factors that feed into our experience of the current moment: events of our past, current situations, and also the effects of our sinfulness all play contributing factors. But the one factor that we tend to disregard is how the forces of evil are determined to use all of these things to further take us away from God, God’s people, and the peace of the Holy Spirit.
When you find yourself in a difficult or dark place, always pause and examine what is happening. Is there some way in which you feel you are reactively and anxiously being pushed towards certain feelings, moods, and temptations that seems unnaturally strong? It is very possible the enemy is involved. Pray for protection and ask for prayer.
3. Seek the gifts of God’s spirit in yourself and others to fight this battle.
Perhaps this blog post has convicted you to seek the gift of tongues. Pray and seek this gift from the Lord! Pray with someone from your Community Group or a prayer meeting, or else connect with a leader from the church. Paul says in 1 Cor 14:1 to "earnestly desire” the gifts, and this gift is no exception.
However, spiritual gifts are also for the edification of others. If you know people who are able to leverage their spiritual gifting to lift you and seek you protection, reach out to those people! Do not fight the battle alone… we were not designed to do that.
I hope the Lord holds you fast during this season, and am grateful for how He holds me. May God walk with us all together!
- Pastor Mike